TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
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