we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
