just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
