And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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