we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
