My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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