If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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