I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
