i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize