I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
