we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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