I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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