If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
