You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
