I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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