he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
