dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
