I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
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