she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
