You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
