haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
