Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
