i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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