We should be called the Road Head Warriors
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
