Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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