wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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