no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I wish I only lived at night.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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