I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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