woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
