How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize