i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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