no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
