Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
