when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
so much tequila, so little girl.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
