it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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