Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
