She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Houston, we have a squirter
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
