STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
