I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
