I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize