Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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