the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
