You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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