so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
