question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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