I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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