I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
