Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
