sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
