So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
