Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
