Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
