already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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