that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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