FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
