better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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