You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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